How Thinking Almost Ruined My Life

(Author unknown, if you do know share it with me.)

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it, exactly,we are doing here?" One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey, I confessed, I've been thinking." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep onthinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot, with NPR blaring on the radio, and ran up to the big glass doors...They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was lookingout for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra a Poster caught my eye,"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.  You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.  Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.  I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I made the final step: I registered to vote as a Republican.

Same Sex Marriage, Law vs. Religion

Some have argued that in addressing the issue of same-sex marriage, the state cannot escape dealing with marriage in religious terms and hence the definition should remain that of religious tradition, i.e. no same-sex marriage.  However, the assumption that marriage is a theological or religious invention is fundamentally invalid, as is what may be seen as a corollary proposition that morality itself is sourced in religion. 

ITS A SUNNY DAY

The other night all the kids were over. When it came time for the Phillip unit to go home, Lizy asked James if he would like to stay with us overnight, to which he promptly said yes - a departure from recent trends. Shortly after that, the question arose as to where he would like to sleep; with Becky in her bed, in Sid's bed, or Becky suggested, with granddaddy Bruce in Becky's bed. To my surprise, he immediately responded affirmatively to the last suggestion.

While we have kisses and hugs and such, granddaddy has not been the warmest spot in the room over time. Granddaddy dishes out more discipline than Ice cream and Grandmother is just hard to beat for tolerance and attention.

Anyway, he was obviously fading fast, so we promptly went upstairs and hopped in bed. I put a hand on him, just so he would know I was there, he reached back and gave me a few pats and was gone to the world.

Next morning when I awoke, I rolled over to check on my charge. There he was wide awake, completely still and staring at me. Before I could say anything, he announced in a very flat monotone manner, "It's a sunny day," which indeed it was.

I just wanted to let those of you who may have felt a bit burdened of late by my emotional neediness, that you now have some relief. I think I have a new friend.

PS I have another location for things like this.  Not sure why really, but I have chosen not to make access public, but willing to provide to just about anyone who asks.  Just leave a request here and I will provide you with an invitation.  Thanks.